When I was little, I had a recurring dream. I was in a boat with my mother and an older male dressed in a dark jacket. He looked rather serious and I was suspicious of him because I couldn’t remember who he was. It was overwhelming. The water was everywhere and I could feel the power of its stream surrounding and carrying the boat. I couldn’t see the opposite shore and could only remember the fog. Lack of sunlight and dark green and gray colors prevailed.
When I told my mother about it, she said that it wasn’t a dream, but a real event. It turned out to be one of my earliest childhood memories. I was just 2 and witnessed the consequences of a huge flood in my home town. We went to visit my mother’s uncle who lived in the country. I believe it was my first ever encounter with him.
It was in the late spring or perhaps early summer in the year 1994. My parents were still together and my father drove us to the village that day. I had no memory of him being there. Most likely, the flood has totally captured my highly impressionable childhood mind.
Under normal conditions, there was a path from the main road down the hill leading to the uncle’s house. It stood at the edge of the street cut off from the rest of the village by the river. I had lots of cheerful memories there later on when we swam in that river with my cousins.
Because of the flood, you couldn’t use the road to get to the house anymore. That’s why the great uncle came to meet us in his fishing rowboat. We met near the bridge running over the river and connecting two parts of the village by the main road. I believe it was one of my first encounters with a huge body of water and actually being on the water.
In the summer of the same year my parents split up and I never really paid attention to the fact that nature was reflecting my mind-pattern of being overwhelmed with unreleased anger and frustration that I absorbed from both of them. It is a commonly shared mind-pattern of the people who live in that area.
Frozen, Not Released
In my country the long winters keep the emotions frozen and buried, but in the spring they start overflowing and some areas are being flooded regularly. Flooding has been a reoccurring theme of my life. Despite being purifier, the energy of water has destructive tendencies to it. It can knock you off your feet and bury alive like the uncontrolled anger itself.
Water is also a powerful amplifier. I didn’t know at the time that I myself acted as an amplifier absorbing the energy from my environment and family, and unable to process and release it. I would pour it out either in tears, fever or illness.
Interestingly enough, I moved to an area that’s also susceptible to flooding yet it never happens here or perhaps not yet. I couldn’t explain to myself the fascination with water and boats that I started to have later in life until I learned about the dolphin frequency and genetics and the Oversoul connection that everyone has.
When you don’t address your unreleased and buried negative emotions, you most probably don’t recognize the currents that are taking you into this or that direction (perhaps not the one you want).
Your anger may create huge waves and rock not only your boat bu those of the others. Your balance, stillness, and mindfulness will still create a ripple effect on the surface of the water even if you don’t move. Don’t underestimate their impact.
When you learn how to deal with your anger and other negative emotions more responsibly, you are becoming less susceptible to panic that tide waves can cause. You can start recognizing the underlying currents more easily and adjust your movements accordingly. The tide of this month is certainly stirring lots of unresolved emotional issues. How do you pull through it?